This post is part of the series “(Stop) Trying To Make Substack Happen.”

You can find more posts like this one, here 😊

I was listening to a pop culture podcast the other day, when (a version of) the following conversation (I didn’t note exact wording) occurred:

Co-host 1: “Next we’re going to talk about (insert name of random celebrity here), and about why this has gone so viral.”

Co-host 2: “Oh my GOD, who caaaares? There are more important things in the world than celebrity gossip!”

Co-host 1: “Yes but this is a pop culture podcast, babe, so shall we crack on?”

😬

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This post is part of the series “(Stop) Trying To Make Substack Happen.”

You can find more posts like this one, here 😊

I was stood in the supermarket recently, taking photos of cans of fish.¹ This sounds weird and I know it sounds weird, which is why I led with it (again, you’re welcome) but actually there was a reason. I had noticed that the fish brands available all appeared to be trying to one up each other in terms of aesthetics, each can more beautiful than the last to such an extent that I wanted to take all of them home.

I don’t like fish.

This is the power of good branding.

¹My two-year-old helpfully shouted “MUMMY WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT MUMMY?” throughout the entire photoshoot, drawing a small crowd in the process. Kids, they keep you humble!

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As the idea of these posts is to experiment with growth whilst sharing learnings along the way, I’m going to talk a little bit about how to get your branding right, now that I’ve shared that a good looking brand can make me do anything. I must start this simply by telling you that it can be really hard to “brand” your work. People that have never attempted a branding exercise may scoff at this statement, but there’s a lot more to it than (and I’m going to drop this one in for the graphic designers amongst you, see if you can resist a full body cringe) “making it pop.” Your brand needs to convey who you are, hint at what you have to offer, all sorts of things whilst also just being… Colours and graphics and tone. Inoffensive enough not to annoy people, stand-out enough to grab their attention. It’s… Well, it’s harder than you’d think, as I already said, which is why I’ve pulled together some tips on getting it right, in case you want your Substack to feel “branded.”

(We are trying to maximise our chances of world domination here, are we not?)

OK, let’s go.

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The need for external validation is one I am unable to avoid. Being both a millennial and the daughter of someone who didn’t love her – yeah no you’re right, I did just make that awkward, soz – I find myself seeking out ways to prove myself to the world on a near daily basis. Here is something to show I am good enough this, here is something to trick you into respecting me that, you know the drill. In theory, an orange tick next to my name should solve this. “This person has hundreds of paying subscribers,” that tick says, “this person is worthy of your time.” It does the total opposite, though…

… Because what happens if it gets taken away?

What happens if I fall from grace in such a public setting?

Will everyone think I’m a joke?

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I worked in marketing before I had kids, more specifically in content strategy. I still “work in marketing” in that the bulk of my freelance roles fall within that remit, but it is very much work done to fit around the school run – low touch, low stakes jobs chosen to work around motherhood – whereas before I was a mum everything just had to work around work, and even though that sometimes meant eating every meal at my desk to make a deadline, even though it meant being paid 9am-5pm when working 6am-10pm, I didn’t really mind because I liked that I was good at my job. (Which is different to liking the actual job, FYI.) I walked away from all of that for these guys…

… And have never really looked back, but the reflex to strategise when faced with content is still strong enough that I look at every newsletter on here and instinctively plot potential to grow, to monetise, to be ‘the next big thing’. My mind does this when I look at Baby Brain, too, and if I could just funnel that knowledge/impulse/desire in a way that nudges me through the glowing door marked success, it’s possible I could actually make a go of things on here.

Alas, self promo gives me the ick.

(Even admitting the above made me want to claw at my own skin.)

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I’m going to let you in on something about Baby Brain that you might not know.

I’m not in this for the money (shock! horror!) but also I am in this for the money (again, wait wut?) in that I have set myself a certain length of time at which I can work on this to the level I currently do, before I have to give up and focus my efforts elsewhere. That doesn’t mean I’m going to flip a table and never return if I’m unable to turn this space into a viable revenue stream, but what it does mean is this: If I start making a good chunk of change on Substack, I can keep living my best life, sharing funny and heartfelt stuff from motherhood alongside sleep advice and what have you, basically doing the things that light me up in a way that I hope makes the day of others just that little bit brighter, too. If I don’t make enough money, that time will instead go on the one client I have who lets me work as much as I like, whenever I want, which is fantastic except that the work is mind numbingly boring and I hate it.

There is only so long I can dilly dally around not earning enough, is what I’m saying. I have a family, I have responsibilities, I am – or so people keep telling me – a grown up now.

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But wait, I have a plan!

Which is why I have decided that I am going to start a little experiment, and I’d love for you to come along for the ride with me. Or to be a witness to my failures. Whatever! Said experiment will see me sharing and playing with different marketing advice and ideas as I try to grow my Substack. I’m calling it “(Stop) Trying To Make Substack Happen,” because of course I am, and while it won’t be a how to in the traditional sense, it will include notes on what I’m doing and why, so you can join in and do the same if you are so inclined.

Interested? OK, first step: Accepting that I might lose my bestseller badge this coming month, because such is life, and that it’s OK because I can still be grateful that I had one in the first place rather than letting such a loss ruin/rule my days. Second? To give you the full behind the scenes picture of this publication in terms of sub count, what I’m earning, which posts are converting, all that jazz, both because it gives us a starting point to work with and also because, well, honestly it’s just fascinating to know what others are earning and doing, isn’t it? I have thought every day about that anon fashion Substacker making bank on here, and maybe karma will reward my gossipy urges by telling me who it was if I share my own journey.

Anyway – enough of this yapping – put on your slippers, get a cuppa and grab a pen, I’m about to deep dive my dashboard.

The cold hard stats

I am writing this on 28th April, so these stats are correct as of that day. As part of this, I’m going to try not to look at them again until the next time I do one of these posts, which I’m thinking will either be at the end of May, or the start of June. That way, we can be surprised together! Wahey! Alright, so:

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