Skills I Removed From My CV
Because apparently they weren't ‘relevant’
These are the stories I'd tell you if you sat next to me at playgroup 👀☕
(Guest starring my children – Poppet m/5, Pickle m/4 and Peach f/1)
1/ I am adept at discreet clean ups of messes caused by and/or affecting a temperamental boss. On more than one occasion I have been responsible for the swift removal of unexpected bodily fluids when meeting with potential new colleagues. When my boss has, for example, informed me in angry tones that he has 'done a snot', I have quickly and efficiently removed said snot before further escalation has occurred, saving us both from potential loss of income* and/or contacts. (*Party invites.)
2/ I have planned, organised and executed several children's birthday parties for numbers of up to 40, navigating difficult relationships, unpredictable temperaments and frankly insane food preferences in the process. All attendees have been satisfied on exit, leaving with full tummies, a new book and a slice of cake for their employees (/parents) to take home as…