I don't know how to stop either... My youngest was four in January, her sister weaned herself when she moved into her own room at 3 years 11 months without my saying or doing anything. She only feeds night times and some mornings then sometimes randomly asks during the day for no reason at which point I immediately distract!
If I figure it out, I’ll share! I’d be happy to do a morning and a night feed for as long as she wants me to… It’s the all day feeding that is starting to drain me. She still tries to feed on demand like a newborn and it can be a tad tedious when I’m trying to get stuff done for the other two kids. I was touring a preschool today for her brother and she spent the entire visit screaming at my chest and trying to hulk smash her way inside my tshirt, mortifying 😅
Oh I've been there! Thing is it's so unusual for women to feed past 6-12 months that people don't expect it, so you end up feeling weird don't you? Both of mine went through phases of manic day feeding followed by my thinking it was almost done and then maybe a cold bug would strike and we'd be back to constant feeds! I know people who did night time feeds until age 5/6 and I'm not sure I want to continue that long but I can see why it makes it so much easier to get them to sleep too!
Oh 100%, I think part of the problem is probably that it’s seen as a bit weird by everyone around me when she starts begging for milk in public now that she’s so big. When she was tiny I thought nothing of it. I try not to be affected by what others think - and am actually really lucky in that I live in an area that is really supportive of extended breastfeeding, so there are quite a few of us doing it - but I definitely felt a shift after around 12 months in how comfortable I am doing daytime feeding on demand when out and about!
I fed my son till he was two and a half, by which time he quite liked cow’s milk. One evening, I asked if he wanted mummy milk or fridge milk and he said, ‘Fridge milk, please.’ I knew then we were done! It was mercifully decisive on his part!
My youngest is 4, and I still haven't worked this one out. Even living and working >2hours from home for more than a year didn't put her off. Still asks for 'mummy milk' on the nights we're together. It's infrequent, now. And never for very long. So I'm pretty much leaving it up to her! Feel you on the challenge of those early days though for sure. I do not miss the mastitis and the milk blisters and the leaking and the constant 'snacking'. For me though, it's the one part of parenting that has definitely got easier with time. Unlike sleep. And sass!
I left it up to my son to self wean and he did do it at 22 months, but he'd pretty much switched to just wanting bedtime milk from 12 months which I found manageable. My daughter is 18 months old and still wants it all day long 😅 I wish the mastitis and the leaking were just early days issues, I have oversupply issues so the two have never stopped
We have the sass too, it's unbelievable how opinionated such little people can be 😂
Bless you, it’s hard, this mothering thing. As I tell my daughter, it’s a good job she’s cute or I might have to put her in the bin (her response - stinky bin, mummy!)
Oh, I’m convinced all infants - and I mean ALL - are adorable is so we won’t kill them in the early days. Think of how adorable newborn puppies are, even newly hatched chickens or octopuses (octopi?) are, or a several hundred lb baby elephant is? Our brains and our hearts are configured to respond positively, emphatically, romantically to newborns. They are massively dependent, and humans are for what can feel like a lifetime in one day.
And yet, even on their worst day, they look up at you, and your heart melts. Loving, living with, and parenting child is - let’s be honest - a love/hate relationship - because your heart now walks without you and away from you. But it’s the most rewarding and stimulating job, one that simultaneously keeps you sharp and young. You’ll have to trust me on the “young” part. When you have grandchildren, you’ll understand.
My infant days are long gone. My youngest grandchild is now 6. But I remember, and I treasure.
Thank you for this comment, Suzanne, so lovely to hear your thoughts. Do you enjoy being a grandmother? I feel like I’ll love it when/if the time comes for me!
You’re incredible. Reading all of the breastfeeding experiences here rly turned around my perspective — I had a horrible time with my daughter and some strange part of me can’t wait to try again if my husband and I can make Baby #2. You’re a brilliant milky mother 🩵🐄
I had a horrible time with my first, too. The second go was so healing for me, and I’m so glad I gave it a go. Whatever you decide to do will be the right choice, though 🩵🐄
This is one of the big benefits, isn’t it! I’m actually feeding my daughter right now as I type, she’s spiking a temp and I know this will help her get better faster. I’ll likely feed for as long as she wants to, too. Well done on feeding for so long, that’s such an achievement!
I've just bought Jessie's Milkies to try and help persuade my three year old it's time to stop. She likes to tell me it's worked then falls apart at bedtime demanding "buboo!" 🙃
Oh I love this! Thank you for the beautiful and funny vignette into your world. The other thing I’m finding myself annoyed at is not being able to wear most dresses! Like no, I’m not lifting up a whole ass dress up to my armpits that feels absurd, bordering impossible.
I had the same list of my phone when deciding to continue breastfeeding my first baby past the one-year-old mark... Turned out he wasn't into it anymore and never asked when I stopped offering. Don't recommend to stop cold turkey, my hormones went on a giant rollercoaster, inducing tons of big emotions, nightsweats and irritability.
Ah that’s great that he made his own choice on the matter. I’m going to wait and let my daughter do the same, just trying to slowly reduce feeds as much as I can without upsetting her at the moment. I hear you on the hormones, they go absolutely wild don’t they!
The photo of 13 day old peach is impossibly precious. Our neighbor just had a baby and, every time I hold her, I lose my mind at the miracle of a six pound potato of baby shaped love. Ugh. My ovaries.
But also: weaning. My toddler is 23 months old and will still nurse throughout the day if we are home and I attempt to sit down. If we are busy at home or out and about, she doesn’t ask as much. But, if I’m sat down she definitely is asking to nurse. And then of course at wake up and nap and bedtime and in the night if she wakes up. 😳
I’m certain I won’t stop, though. Sometimes I feel so touched out and just overwhelmed. But then, like last night after she skinned her knee and wanted only to snuggle in for a nurse, I realize that it’s an indescribable gift to be her absolute safe spot. I am her comfort. I’m worried I’ll regret it if I wean her rather than letting her choose her own timeline.
Worry that I’ll regret a mothering choice and then being paralyzed about making said choice seems to be a constant part of parenthood?? Is it just me that feels this way?
So… I guess I’m in the same spot as you. Even if I were to wean- I don’t know how haha
I’m right there with you, I know I won’t stop until she wants to stop, even though I feel totally touched out at times. Going to work on reducing the day feeds a little, I think, and let her work out the rest. Wish me luck 😂
My older two self weaned when I was pregnant with the next, so I've got no idea how to wean baby number three. Just get pregnant again? That's sustainable, right?
I'm in the same boat, still nursing my 2.5 year old along with my 5 month old. I don't mind when it's just morning, naptime and bedtime, but lately he's been asking nonstop. It's such an emotional thing for him, it's hard to set limits without him feeling rejected. I know we have to wean eventually but I almost can't even envision it.
Yes!! It’s the emotional thing! My daughter looks SO rejected when I say no and has this real devastated cry that just sounds so mournful. I’m absolutely happy with morning, nap and bed, but as you say the all day nonstop asking is a bit too much. I just find it really hard when I’m out in public with her trying to get a job done and she starts slapping me in the chest and screaming for milk 😂
Fingers crossed we figure out what to do soon - hang in there
This is a good idea, except that she loves spicy food, it would probably make her want it even more, haha. You’re right, I just need to hang in there. I might try reducing day feeds slowly and see how we feel from there. Fingers crossed it will make things easier for us both xo
I don't know how to stop either... My youngest was four in January, her sister weaned herself when she moved into her own room at 3 years 11 months without my saying or doing anything. She only feeds night times and some mornings then sometimes randomly asks during the day for no reason at which point I immediately distract!
If you learn how I'd love to know! ❤️
If I figure it out, I’ll share! I’d be happy to do a morning and a night feed for as long as she wants me to… It’s the all day feeding that is starting to drain me. She still tries to feed on demand like a newborn and it can be a tad tedious when I’m trying to get stuff done for the other two kids. I was touring a preschool today for her brother and she spent the entire visit screaming at my chest and trying to hulk smash her way inside my tshirt, mortifying 😅
Oh I've been there! Thing is it's so unusual for women to feed past 6-12 months that people don't expect it, so you end up feeling weird don't you? Both of mine went through phases of manic day feeding followed by my thinking it was almost done and then maybe a cold bug would strike and we'd be back to constant feeds! I know people who did night time feeds until age 5/6 and I'm not sure I want to continue that long but I can see why it makes it so much easier to get them to sleep too!
Oh 100%, I think part of the problem is probably that it’s seen as a bit weird by everyone around me when she starts begging for milk in public now that she’s so big. When she was tiny I thought nothing of it. I try not to be affected by what others think - and am actually really lucky in that I live in an area that is really supportive of extended breastfeeding, so there are quite a few of us doing it - but I definitely felt a shift after around 12 months in how comfortable I am doing daytime feeding on demand when out and about!
I fed my son till he was two and a half, by which time he quite liked cow’s milk. One evening, I asked if he wanted mummy milk or fridge milk and he said, ‘Fridge milk, please.’ I knew then we were done! It was mercifully decisive on his part!
Self weaning is definitely the goal, I just wish she was a bit less demanding of it in the meantime 😅
Yes, two of my daughters are feeding their two year olds, and I’m sure will relate! You’ve absolutely captured the ongoing dilemmas :D
My youngest is 4, and I still haven't worked this one out. Even living and working >2hours from home for more than a year didn't put her off. Still asks for 'mummy milk' on the nights we're together. It's infrequent, now. And never for very long. So I'm pretty much leaving it up to her! Feel you on the challenge of those early days though for sure. I do not miss the mastitis and the milk blisters and the leaking and the constant 'snacking'. For me though, it's the one part of parenting that has definitely got easier with time. Unlike sleep. And sass!
I left it up to my son to self wean and he did do it at 22 months, but he'd pretty much switched to just wanting bedtime milk from 12 months which I found manageable. My daughter is 18 months old and still wants it all day long 😅 I wish the mastitis and the leaking were just early days issues, I have oversupply issues so the two have never stopped
We have the sass too, it's unbelievable how opinionated such little people can be 😂
Bless you, it’s hard, this mothering thing. As I tell my daughter, it’s a good job she’s cute or I might have to put her in the bin (her response - stinky bin, mummy!)
Hahaha, I love this
Oh, I’m convinced all infants - and I mean ALL - are adorable is so we won’t kill them in the early days. Think of how adorable newborn puppies are, even newly hatched chickens or octopuses (octopi?) are, or a several hundred lb baby elephant is? Our brains and our hearts are configured to respond positively, emphatically, romantically to newborns. They are massively dependent, and humans are for what can feel like a lifetime in one day.
And yet, even on their worst day, they look up at you, and your heart melts. Loving, living with, and parenting child is - let’s be honest - a love/hate relationship - because your heart now walks without you and away from you. But it’s the most rewarding and stimulating job, one that simultaneously keeps you sharp and young. You’ll have to trust me on the “young” part. When you have grandchildren, you’ll understand.
My infant days are long gone. My youngest grandchild is now 6. But I remember, and I treasure.
Hang in there, mommas.
Peace🕊️
Thank you for this comment, Suzanne, so lovely to hear your thoughts. Do you enjoy being a grandmother? I feel like I’ll love it when/if the time comes for me!
Sleeping in a wacky position and Waking up with a sore back is one reason I want to stop breastfeeding. 😂
That’s the biggest one for me too 😂
Hilarious and relatable 😂
Thank you!
You’re incredible. Reading all of the breastfeeding experiences here rly turned around my perspective — I had a horrible time with my daughter and some strange part of me can’t wait to try again if my husband and I can make Baby #2. You’re a brilliant milky mother 🩵🐄
I had a horrible time with my first, too. The second go was so healing for me, and I’m so glad I gave it a go. Whatever you decide to do will be the right choice, though 🩵🐄
Still breastfeeding my almost 4 year old. This kid blows through a flu in 24 hours- and kills a fever so quickly. I’ll do it as long as he wants it.
This is one of the big benefits, isn’t it! I’m actually feeding my daughter right now as I type, she’s spiking a temp and I know this will help her get better faster. I’ll likely feed for as long as she wants to, too. Well done on feeding for so long, that’s such an achievement!
Everything in this article is so relatable.
Thank you, it’s hard work sometimes isn’t it!
I've just bought Jessie's Milkies to try and help persuade my three year old it's time to stop. She likes to tell me it's worked then falls apart at bedtime demanding "buboo!" 🙃
Oh is this a new picture book for weaning? I’ve only heard of Booby Moon (which I didn’t like)
Bless her, it’s hard to let go of buboo 😅
Yes, it's by Emma Pickett, bit of a choose your own adventure! Toddler has enjoyed reading and discussing it, I'd recommend it 💜
Oh brilliant, thank you! I’ll look this up
Oh I love this! Thank you for the beautiful and funny vignette into your world. The other thing I’m finding myself annoyed at is not being able to wear most dresses! Like no, I’m not lifting up a whole ass dress up to my armpits that feels absurd, bordering impossible.
Oh my gosh yes, the dresses! I used to wear dresses all the time. I’ve lived in jeans and t-shirts for almost 5 years and it’s so sad
I had the same list of my phone when deciding to continue breastfeeding my first baby past the one-year-old mark... Turned out he wasn't into it anymore and never asked when I stopped offering. Don't recommend to stop cold turkey, my hormones went on a giant rollercoaster, inducing tons of big emotions, nightsweats and irritability.
Ah that’s great that he made his own choice on the matter. I’m going to wait and let my daughter do the same, just trying to slowly reduce feeds as much as I can without upsetting her at the moment. I hear you on the hormones, they go absolutely wild don’t they!
The photo of 13 day old peach is impossibly precious. Our neighbor just had a baby and, every time I hold her, I lose my mind at the miracle of a six pound potato of baby shaped love. Ugh. My ovaries.
But also: weaning. My toddler is 23 months old and will still nurse throughout the day if we are home and I attempt to sit down. If we are busy at home or out and about, she doesn’t ask as much. But, if I’m sat down she definitely is asking to nurse. And then of course at wake up and nap and bedtime and in the night if she wakes up. 😳
I’m certain I won’t stop, though. Sometimes I feel so touched out and just overwhelmed. But then, like last night after she skinned her knee and wanted only to snuggle in for a nurse, I realize that it’s an indescribable gift to be her absolute safe spot. I am her comfort. I’m worried I’ll regret it if I wean her rather than letting her choose her own timeline.
Worry that I’ll regret a mothering choice and then being paralyzed about making said choice seems to be a constant part of parenthood?? Is it just me that feels this way?
So… I guess I’m in the same spot as you. Even if I were to wean- I don’t know how haha
Isn’t it bonkers how tiny they once were??
I’m right there with you, I know I won’t stop until she wants to stop, even though I feel totally touched out at times. Going to work on reducing the day feeds a little, I think, and let her work out the rest. Wish me luck 😂
My older two self weaned when I was pregnant with the next, so I've got no idea how to wean baby number three. Just get pregnant again? That's sustainable, right?
This is my exact struggle! I can’t just have a baby every time I need to wean (can I? 😂)
My third is so easygoing and so adored by her older brothers that having another is surprisingly tempting...
Let me know how it goes 😂
"I don't know how to stop" TOO TRUE
No-one teaches you these bits!
I'm in the same boat, still nursing my 2.5 year old along with my 5 month old. I don't mind when it's just morning, naptime and bedtime, but lately he's been asking nonstop. It's such an emotional thing for him, it's hard to set limits without him feeling rejected. I know we have to wean eventually but I almost can't even envision it.
Yes!! It’s the emotional thing! My daughter looks SO rejected when I say no and has this real devastated cry that just sounds so mournful. I’m absolutely happy with morning, nap and bed, but as you say the all day nonstop asking is a bit too much. I just find it really hard when I’m out in public with her trying to get a job done and she starts slapping me in the chest and screaming for milk 😂
Fingers crossed we figure out what to do soon - hang in there
I knew we were done when my boys started to bite. The first lasted longer than the second! Maybe it's time to eat more chillies?
Eat chillies? What’s this?
I think the issue is that I feel done but I know she doesn’t, and I can’t bring myself to take it away from her. It’s possible I’m being too soft!
Add a bit of spice to your milk!
I can imagine how you feel, and I wouldn't mind betting that she will suddenly decide one day that she doesn't want it anymore. Could be tomorrow!
This is a good idea, except that she loves spicy food, it would probably make her want it even more, haha. You’re right, I just need to hang in there. I might try reducing day feeds slowly and see how we feel from there. Fingers crossed it will make things easier for us both xo
She loves her mum x