Oh wow, I’m relieved that I didn’t see the original interview. How do they get paid to spout such nonsense?! It makes me so sad because some mothers will see this and sodding BELIEVE it! I mean, I used to think that babies were too old to breastfeed as soon as they had teeth. What an idiot I was. Scary thing though - five years at medical school didn’t put that right. In fact what I learned at med school about breastfeeding would fit on a postage stamp, and my writing isn’t small. Thankfully, by the time I had my own children I had access to a community of knowledgable women who supported me to continue bf for as long as my children wanted to. Turned out to be around 4-5 years each. Imagine Vanessa and Karen’s horror at that.
See, this is my EXACT issue with it, that someone vulnerable and struggling could be sat at home now thinking “god, am I sick for still feeding my baby?” It’s HORRIBLE.
I'm not going to watch it for that reason! I have just weaned my son at 4.5 years old. It was never my plan to feed him that long and I had 100% internalised our culture's prevalent belief that breastfeeding past babyhood is 'weird'. I had an internal battle in thinking I should wean him from when he was a year old. I'm so so SO glad that I kept feeding him and weaned him incredibly gently (by reducing from daily feeds to weekly, and eventually fortnightly) to the point where River said 'there's no milk!' And it was this really sweet, gentle moment where there was no more milk and he sort of smiled, and that was that. I would have had so much regret if I'd pushed through his tears earlier than that to stop feeding before he was ready.
Thank you for sharing this info about how amazing breastmilk is and challenging that myth that breastmilk has no nutritional value beyond the first few months.
Ah, Ellie, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you’ve done an amazing job – it’s so hard to shut out the voices telling you not to do something, I’m so happy to hear you made the choice that brought you the most contentment xo
I feel these conversations are irresponsible when the number one most powerful benefit to our population’s health is breastfeeding.
It’s also irresponsible to not have an expert correcting the ridiculous misinformation. Karen Miller’s input should be cut.
To imply that breastfeeding is selfish when it protects optimal health- physical, emotional and mental for both mother and child is irresponsible.
The other misinformation is that breastfeeding has no value after 6 months. Breastfeeding and breast milk is the most biologically active and healthiest food on the planet for humans. That biological benefit doesn’t stop at a certain age. In fact the benefits grow with age as the immunological and nutritional value adapts to the needs of the growing child.
The panel’s comments are very concerning as they represent our culture’s fear of interdependency, co-regulation and emotions which contributes to our mental health crisis.
Well done for writing about this and challenging it.
Conversations like this are a sign of how topsy turvy discourse around motherhood has become. The work of caring for children has been so thoroughly devalued that a women breastfeeding her toddler is seen as somehow aberrant. Also I feel like people misunderstand and think that the child isn't being fed regular food ("she only knows the boob"), which just further illustrates how alien this whole topic is to the people discussing it.
It’s just all so odd isn’t it. I can understand thinking it (though not so publicly saying it), to a point – before I had babies I thought extended feeding was weird, but that was 100% because of things like this, and I think it’s so disheartening that instead of unpicking that narrative, people with massive platforms perpetuate it. It wasn’t until I was a mother myself that I understood how natural and normal and beautiful it all is. I just wish more people would talk about THAT than they do about things like ‘oh no, baby has a tooth LOL.’
I’m so glad to be out of these contentious conversations, including debates over formula (which is either a viable substitute, or the first step to your child becoming a low IQ criminal) and co-sleeping (a lovely way to bond with your baby, or a guaranteed death trap). Our toughest is coming up on four years. I’m sure we’ll never have to deal with another difficult parenting debate again. 😉
Oh the debates keep coming, they just have a different flavour. Do you not have the primary school wars where you are? Our local debate for that age group is ‘oh yours goes THERE? That’s INTERESTING!’
In our German village, there's only one public primary school, and it has a great reputation, so there's really not a lot of hot discourse that I see. The biggest debate that I see is about moms in the workforce. It's pretty rare to work 100% if you're a mother. Most women cut back to 50% or less. My wife is among the only women working full time, which she can only do because I have a flexible schedule and take care of the kids in the afternoon. I think some of the other moms might see that as putting her job ahead of her kids. Nobody would say that to her face, of course, but that's the vibe. It's annoying, but we don't let it bother us.
Totally missed this somehow. Appalling!! So much to say about this and at the same time I’m lost for words… The tone of it all, the misinformation… What an absurd collection of people to talk on this subject. LOL at “it’s just not normal is it?”, actually very normal Karen!! Please write in with your response! xx
The "expert" they actually trotted out a few days later wasn't much better, and the only caller they had with actual knowledge, got cut off mid flow 🤦🏼♀️
For better or worse, I didn't see it myself, but from what I gather...yeah, pretty awful. The "expert" had no idea about the breast crawl babies do for their first feed, no idea about natural term weaning, she talked about milk drying up at 4 months for no reason, and said that the benefits of breastfeeding rapidly decline after 6 months. Oh, and that to stop breastfeeding you should just go cold turkey... and the cut off the peer supporter on the phone because she dared to try and correct all the nonsense they were airing. Diabolical really!
NOOOOOO! How AWFUL! All of it, but especially the cold turkey advice. That sort of advice could literally kill someone if it lead to mastitis (obviously in the very worst case scenario, but why take that risk?)
I know, it's so bad. So disappointing. And there are so many good, public IBCLCs who they could have got on to talk about it, except I imagine it wouldn't have got them as many views
Exactly! Why ask someone who admits to having difficulty breastfeeding which has affected her viewpoint? No idea why, I've fed both my eldest past two and my third is going strong at 14 months but I never judge anyone who formula feeds or stops earlier. Why can't we accept that everyone has their reasons for what they do and it has no impact on anyone else so keep it to yourself?!
Honestly! I had a terrible feeding journey with my first, I would have been totally wrong for this panel if I’d been asked about feeding based purely on that experience. It’s like they deliberately only chose people with negative things to say. Even the lady in the middle who was trying to be diplomatic only had bad experiences to speak of. Just terrible.
I don't understand it, everybody always wants to paint it as weird to extend breastfeeding. I'd love to help normalise it but unfortunately I am a weirdo 🤪
Oh wow, I’m relieved that I didn’t see the original interview. How do they get paid to spout such nonsense?! It makes me so sad because some mothers will see this and sodding BELIEVE it! I mean, I used to think that babies were too old to breastfeed as soon as they had teeth. What an idiot I was. Scary thing though - five years at medical school didn’t put that right. In fact what I learned at med school about breastfeeding would fit on a postage stamp, and my writing isn’t small. Thankfully, by the time I had my own children I had access to a community of knowledgable women who supported me to continue bf for as long as my children wanted to. Turned out to be around 4-5 years each. Imagine Vanessa and Karen’s horror at that.
See, this is my EXACT issue with it, that someone vulnerable and struggling could be sat at home now thinking “god, am I sick for still feeding my baby?” It’s HORRIBLE.
I'm not going to watch it for that reason! I have just weaned my son at 4.5 years old. It was never my plan to feed him that long and I had 100% internalised our culture's prevalent belief that breastfeeding past babyhood is 'weird'. I had an internal battle in thinking I should wean him from when he was a year old. I'm so so SO glad that I kept feeding him and weaned him incredibly gently (by reducing from daily feeds to weekly, and eventually fortnightly) to the point where River said 'there's no milk!' And it was this really sweet, gentle moment where there was no more milk and he sort of smiled, and that was that. I would have had so much regret if I'd pushed through his tears earlier than that to stop feeding before he was ready.
Thank you for sharing this info about how amazing breastmilk is and challenging that myth that breastmilk has no nutritional value beyond the first few months.
Ah, Ellie, thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you’ve done an amazing job – it’s so hard to shut out the voices telling you not to do something, I’m so happy to hear you made the choice that brought you the most contentment xo
I feel these conversations are irresponsible when the number one most powerful benefit to our population’s health is breastfeeding.
It’s also irresponsible to not have an expert correcting the ridiculous misinformation. Karen Miller’s input should be cut.
To imply that breastfeeding is selfish when it protects optimal health- physical, emotional and mental for both mother and child is irresponsible.
The other misinformation is that breastfeeding has no value after 6 months. Breastfeeding and breast milk is the most biologically active and healthiest food on the planet for humans. That biological benefit doesn’t stop at a certain age. In fact the benefits grow with age as the immunological and nutritional value adapts to the needs of the growing child.
The panel’s comments are very concerning as they represent our culture’s fear of interdependency, co-regulation and emotions which contributes to our mental health crisis.
Well done for writing about this and challenging it.
Standing ovation
Thank you!
fabulous work.
Thanks so much, Kylie-Ann
Conversations like this are a sign of how topsy turvy discourse around motherhood has become. The work of caring for children has been so thoroughly devalued that a women breastfeeding her toddler is seen as somehow aberrant. Also I feel like people misunderstand and think that the child isn't being fed regular food ("she only knows the boob"), which just further illustrates how alien this whole topic is to the people discussing it.
It’s just all so odd isn’t it. I can understand thinking it (though not so publicly saying it), to a point – before I had babies I thought extended feeding was weird, but that was 100% because of things like this, and I think it’s so disheartening that instead of unpicking that narrative, people with massive platforms perpetuate it. It wasn’t until I was a mother myself that I understood how natural and normal and beautiful it all is. I just wish more people would talk about THAT than they do about things like ‘oh no, baby has a tooth LOL.’
Love this! 👏👏👏👏👏
Thank you, it took me many, many hours to edit this down from my initial 5000 word rant, haha
Well done! It’s brilliant xx
OMG! That segment is awful, but I loved reading the comments on the YouTube video. I enjoyed the expert commentary added here.
Thank you! Yes, I enjoyed the comments, too. Good to see people standing up for mothers, for once
BRILLIANT! THANK YOU!
Thank you!!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you <3
I’m so glad to be out of these contentious conversations, including debates over formula (which is either a viable substitute, or the first step to your child becoming a low IQ criminal) and co-sleeping (a lovely way to bond with your baby, or a guaranteed death trap). Our toughest is coming up on four years. I’m sure we’ll never have to deal with another difficult parenting debate again. 😉
Oh the debates keep coming, they just have a different flavour. Do you not have the primary school wars where you are? Our local debate for that age group is ‘oh yours goes THERE? That’s INTERESTING!’
In our German village, there's only one public primary school, and it has a great reputation, so there's really not a lot of hot discourse that I see. The biggest debate that I see is about moms in the workforce. It's pretty rare to work 100% if you're a mother. Most women cut back to 50% or less. My wife is among the only women working full time, which she can only do because I have a flexible schedule and take care of the kids in the afternoon. I think some of the other moms might see that as putting her job ahead of her kids. Nobody would say that to her face, of course, but that's the vibe. It's annoying, but we don't let it bother us.
Ah yeah we get that vibe here too. Everyone is different though, you have to do what works for you don’t you.
Lucky on the primary school front, it’s a real bone of contention here, friendships have fallen apart over opinions on primary schools 😂
Totally missed this somehow. Appalling!! So much to say about this and at the same time I’m lost for words… The tone of it all, the misinformation… What an absurd collection of people to talk on this subject. LOL at “it’s just not normal is it?”, actually very normal Karen!! Please write in with your response! xx
Gosh, it’s horrible isn’t it. I just find it so jarring how hateful people can be about such a natural, normal thing.
The "expert" they actually trotted out a few days later wasn't much better, and the only caller they had with actual knowledge, got cut off mid flow 🤦🏼♀️
Oooh I didn’t see the follow up. Was it awful?
For better or worse, I didn't see it myself, but from what I gather...yeah, pretty awful. The "expert" had no idea about the breast crawl babies do for their first feed, no idea about natural term weaning, she talked about milk drying up at 4 months for no reason, and said that the benefits of breastfeeding rapidly decline after 6 months. Oh, and that to stop breastfeeding you should just go cold turkey... and the cut off the peer supporter on the phone because she dared to try and correct all the nonsense they were airing. Diabolical really!
NOOOOOO! How AWFUL! All of it, but especially the cold turkey advice. That sort of advice could literally kill someone if it lead to mastitis (obviously in the very worst case scenario, but why take that risk?)
I know, it's so bad. So disappointing. And there are so many good, public IBCLCs who they could have got on to talk about it, except I imagine it wouldn't have got them as many views
This is it, it’s all about the views. Such a sad state of affairs.
Brilliant, Charlotte.
Thanks so much, Wendy. I found the original so outrageous, couldn’t stop myself trying to correct the narrative 😂
WORD
❤️
Exactly! Why ask someone who admits to having difficulty breastfeeding which has affected her viewpoint? No idea why, I've fed both my eldest past two and my third is going strong at 14 months but I never judge anyone who formula feeds or stops earlier. Why can't we accept that everyone has their reasons for what they do and it has no impact on anyone else so keep it to yourself?!
Honestly! I had a terrible feeding journey with my first, I would have been totally wrong for this panel if I’d been asked about feeding based purely on that experience. It’s like they deliberately only chose people with negative things to say. Even the lady in the middle who was trying to be diplomatic only had bad experiences to speak of. Just terrible.
I don't understand it, everybody always wants to paint it as weird to extend breastfeeding. I'd love to help normalise it but unfortunately I am a weirdo 🤪
Haha! At least we can be weirdos together
Yes Charlotte, yes yes yes (and thank you)
Thank you for reading, Kate!